aw, that was cute of me.

Posted on | September 25, 2009 | 8 Comments

i must admit – before i had Harper, i had grand ideas of what it would be like to be a mom and along with those ideas came “nevers” – things i would never do or say. when i was pregnant i saw a book called “i was a really good mom before i had kids”. it made me laugh, and think. now, almost a year into it, it could be the title of my book. i’ve compiled a list of things i said i’d NEVER do:

[feed my baby formula] man, i was awful about this one. some of things regarding breastfeeding that came out of my mouth pre-Harper coming out were downright hilarious. i mean slap-your-knee funny. i actually uttered things like “i don’t care how hard it is, i will keep trying until my nipples fall off” and “babies who are formula fed are sick all the time”. yeah. i did that. you know what miss know it all? (yeah, i’m talkng to past self – i’ve told you before i’m bat doodoo crazy) it’s freaking hard. what sucked the most (besides the fact that my nipples did almost fall off, literally, and having the worst supply issues known to man) was that my determination to breast feed ended with guilt because i had really convinced myself that formula was poison. but guess what? it’s NOT! H has never ever been sick ever, and has a sane mother, not the crazy one she had for 6 weeks hunched over a breast pump crying begging the milk gods to give her more than half an ounce in 30 minutes.

[put my baby in her own room before 6 months] this one cracks me up. every time i pictured life with Harper, i pictured her in her bassinet in our room. no. just no. this lasted about 8, maybe 9 weeks and no one was getting any sleep (what was that noise? is she breathing? i better check to make sure. ::baby wakes up crying because her crazy mom has a finger by her tiny nostril checking for air::) putting Harper in her own room was the best thing for everyone. she is a championship sleeper and has been ever since. i always read about people walking the halls with their babies, rocking them to sleep for hours, stressing about crying it out, etc. this is foreign to me. don’t get me wrong, i know how lucky we are, but seriously – we kiss her goodnight, lay her in her crib and she falls asleep. that’s it. crying it out? who’s crying? not my kid.

[own brightly colored plastic baby toys] hilarious. who the hell did i think i was? at one of my showers i recieved a playmat – blues, reds, yellows, oranges, purples – and i politely said thanks while mentally finding a place in the garage for it/scanning my brain on who i could regift it to. i judged the hell out of that playmat. right down to it’s musical little stuffed lion. then when H was 2 or 3 weeks old, i busted it out. she loved it. because she’s a baby. did i really think these toy people didn’t know what they were talking about? good lord. harper could care less for the modern, more hip toys i wanted her to like and you know why? because they’re BORING. these days, it looks like a rainbow barfed in my living room. and i love it.

[let my baby watch tv] noggin rules my life. end of story.

[give my baby jarred baby food] i try to make all of Harpers food, but let’s be real. there are mornings where the coffee can’t brew fast enough and opening a container of gerber organic bananas is easier for my tired butt than mashing one up while H screams bloody murder for FUD. again, NOT poison.

i’m still standing firm on no mini-van ever (although once another kiddo is involved – i must admit i can see the convenience of a sliding door via remote control – but still, no) and no soda or frappachinos (seriously, come on people).

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