quick, someone slap me.

Posted on | December 29, 2009 | 16 Comments

thought mayhaps a 2009 photo post was in order. i thought i could pick some cuties from the year, put them in order and share them with you, the fine interwebs. but alas, i have no patience, i am still tired from christmas, and OH YEAH, i tried and failed because i cried going through photos from 2009.

did you know i started the year with a 2 month old? a two month old. like, at this time last year it had only been 8 weeks since i graced the world with Harper’s presence (you’re welcome!). i was still sporting maternity jeans, gratuitously using nipple cream and probably still shaking cans of dermoplast (my bsff – best spray friend forever). looking through the photos made me want to do the unthinkable : immediately get pregnant again. like yesterday. like, i need to cuddle a tiny freshly baked wrinkly-leg-skinned newborn NOW. i give to you the following photographic evidence as the culprits for said fever breaking out:

the 6 hours after birth photo

i mean, look you guys! i did this. i can do it again, right? i made that little human and then pushed her out. nevermind my meatslab arms and 6 chins, they went away eventually and they will again! pay no mind that my lady parts were throbbing, that nursing bra was rubbing uncomfortably against my bleeding nipples and i was only sleeping because of ambien, I SHOULD HAVE ANOTHER BABY because look at her!

the daddy and baby napping photo

ok seriously? come on. if i squeed any louder i might squee right off a bridge. tiny sleeping babeh + handsome man you married + both sleeping peacefully = makes me want to cry. sidenote: these 2 photos might have been the only actual 2 times we slept.

the stripey dipey baby bum/tiny curled toes photo

oh hail no. you can’t expect anyone with ovaries to look at this and not want to immediately get impregnated. what are you doing baby feet? oh, just being tiny and fat and curly? and hey you, baby bum – who do you think you are? oh, just a stripey cushy little tushy? ok, carry on.

stupid idiot not-cute-at-all baby hat photo

warning : do not look directly at this photo. when i did, i got the sudden urge to eat celery, buy a huge bottle of cocoabutter and map out all baskin robins locations within a 10 mile radius in order to be prepared for pregnancy numero dos. the combination of weird monster-animal shirt, sweater hat with ears and braided flaps, and doe-eyed nugget will have you running to rite-aid to pick up some ovulation kits at 1am. danger danger danger.

operation 2009 photo post = fail. NOT going to happen. not only is my blog not big enough for all the adorable photos i’d need to use to celebrate the year that was, i just don’t think it would be appropriate for my husband to wake up to me making a necklace of Harper’s baby booties or poking holes in things i shouldn’t be. just not a good end to the year, you know?

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