file under: crushed dreams

Posted on | January 22, 2010 | 17 Comments

also see folder “my gaydar is way off” (which also contains my crush from 7th grade and the character Tyler Briggs from nbc’s ‘trauma’). today my tweeps delivered the sad news to me that one of my biggest celebrity crushes would never give me a second glance. the following is a play by play. try not to drown in my tears as the scene progresses. and please watch your step, those are pieces of my broken silver fox-loving heart.

i mean, right?

hold the phone.

(see i’m not the only one)

(crying in my coffee here, watching the Coopster on Ellen and trying not to scream “why Andy, WHY?”)

(he was after johnny depp but before josh duhamel) (obv)

hours later, still sad:

seriously, not gonna.

(another one bites the dust. love the capitals, shows the true sadness i share)

this was the photo attached, my super up-to-date board on our fridge.

all of which led to my current board on our fridge:

LE SIGH. i mean, he just saved a little boy in haiti from looters. i’m all giving him yet another gold silver(fox) star for hotness and he’s all not liking chicks. and don’t go feeling bad for my husband that i have a huge crush (on the apparently gay) anderson cooper, because someone likes looking at heather graham and natalie portman (not that i can blame him. well on the NP front, HG? meh). this one is going to take me a while to get over. apparently the rest of world already did, back in ’08 when this was discovered. i’m blaming it on a mommy haze, and will be sulking if you need me.

Category: au jus serious?, feelin' blue, thats embarassing, wait what?
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Comments

  • http://www.emmiebee.com Emmie Bee

    hahahahaha. Well, for the record- I honestly thought you were effing with me. I literally was under the impression this was common knowledge. Doesn’t change the hotness- just you know, ruins the dream of him rescuing YOU from looters.

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    Mandy Reply:
    January 23rd, 2010 at 12:01 am

    i guess i should have known. when scot got home i was like “anderson cooper is gay!” and he was all “doesn’t surprise me”. i’m usually really good at that game. scot: 1 mandy: 0

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  • http://mrspriss.com Mrs. Priss

    WHAT!?!?

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  • http://mrspriss.com Mrs. Priss

    apparently i’ve been living under a mommy rock too. this upsets me greatly!

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  • Kristin

    I didn’t believe you at first. Then I found this little gem :(

    “CNN anchor Anderson Cooper is reportedly moving in with his boyfriend Ben Maisani, a 36-year-old NYC gay bar owner. They have been seeing each other for the last 8 months and now they are house-hunting in New York City.”

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

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  • J

    I didn’t know he was out and I didn’t even get knocked up so don’t feel bad. It does explain why all the gay dudes at work have those barbie-sized cut-outs of him all over their desks. So not kidding.

    I have to admit though, (in the most hetero way possible) that Anderson Copper is totally a Silver Fox. If he was into reproducing, he’d totally be a D.I.L.F.

    Just remember, time heels all wounds.., even hot ones.

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  • thenextmartha

    AC (As I like to call him) was practically digging people out with his bare hands, carrying children off to safety, and manning up to all the gruesome scenes in Haiti. My crush was just growing deeper when the 100 watt light flood light gave me a wake up call. How is this possible? I still can’t wrap my head around how this is possible. But Alas, seeing him with his new beaux on bikes has saddened me and helped me face reality. I seriously need to find a 10pm replacement. Love the post- well kinda- my dreams were shot in all of this- but hey it’s nice to be on the ever changing fridge board!

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  • http://jimaiemarie.blogspot.com Jimaie

    hahahaha!! I caught bits and pieces of this going down and had to LOL
    I too am LOVIN me some Anderson Cooper and found out last year through another tweeter (who also loves her some AC) that he batted for the other team…I was shocked! And then not so shocked…and then sad.
    *sigh*

    oh Anderson, you sexy thang.

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  • http://spunkystork.com Aliya @ the Spunky Stork

    The Coop runs around all the gay circles in NYC… but we are all such weirdos here that this can be construed as normal. However, his “boyfriend’s” bar in the East Village – literally 7 blocks from my apartment – is a pretty well-known gay staple in the ‘hood. Sorry, Mandy. He is still nice to look at though :)

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  • http://www.lindseyivory.blogspot.com Lindsey

    This is hilarious…and I guess I didn’t know either…I never really thought about it…which means I probably just pictured him straight because I didn’t want to admit to myself what was really going on ;)

    Just found your blog and I love it! Reading parenting blogs has become my new favorite pastime and I am glad I found yours. I know it sounds funny…but as I go through my first pregnancy and blog all about it, I actually look forward to writing about what happens after the birth…because I know that’s when the really crazy, funny stuff begins!

    [Reply]

    Mandy Reply:
    January 26th, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    hi lindsey! glad you’re enjoying yourself around here. your blogs are both adorable! and i just figured out that YOU won the dyson from Jill! omg, jealous. like, so jealous. :]

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  • http://penelopeblue.blogspot.com/ Lori

    Have to be honest– I kind of giggled when I read this post! I had NO CLUE that he was gay!

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  • http://www.parentinginprogress.wordpress.com mae

    I can’t remember the exact moment i learned this information, but i can tell you what i was doing when it happened. It was the middle of the night and I was sitting in bed nursing the baby, Piper couldn’t have been more than a couple of weeks old. Topher was staying up with me (why? no idea. possibly to respond to barked out commands of “Lanolin!” “Cookies!” “Water!” or “Percocet!” before I slapped him with a bassinet…) and I was watching the 3am, or similar, repeat of AC 360 to distract myself from the tiny human trying to bite my nipples off in her quest for sustenance. That’s when he told me “You know he’s gay right? He’s not like super out but I guess he doesn’t hide it either. Cool guy.”

    Why my husband chose this moment to inform me of AC’s sexual preference I cannot begin to guess.

    Did I look turned on? Did I appear in some other way to be “into him” and so needed to be informed of the unavailability of my crush by my darling husband, lest my dripping watermelon boobs and half-deflated-beachball belly run away with me to stalk the Silver Fox in his Manhattan digs? Perhaps. It was probably best for all concerned. God knows I would have been able to turn him, hot piece that I was.

    I’ll never know, Topher claims not to remember the event citing severe sleep deprivation and lack of oxygen to the brain. He’s probably not making that up, sometimes I watched Nancy Grace too. I’m not proud or anything, just keepin it real, yo.

    Anyway. I’m sorry to have helped to burst the bubble. I remember the pain. It will fade, someday.

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    Mandy Reply:
    January 26th, 2010 at 11:36 pm

    best comment ever.

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    the Spunky Stork Reply:
    January 27th, 2010 at 7:51 am

    I have never had so much fun reading a blog comment before IN MY LIFE!

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  • http://the818.com Morgan @ The818

    You crack my shit up. And your commenters crack my shit up. Winning combination.

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  • http://www.greeblemonkey.com Aimee Greeblemonkey

    Awesome.

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