Posted on | February 19, 2010 | 11 Comments
if it wasn’t already apparent by my grammar, lack of capitalization and general crappy writing skills, i didn’t go to college. well, unless you count half a semester at the community college where i learned nothing and just stopped going. and since i am fairly certain that does NOT count, then yeah, i didn’t go to college.
school was never my “thing”. i liked learning alright, but the homework and doing what people told me part really cramped my style. i always got in trouble for talking, once even got a detention because i got the giggles so bad for no reason that i had tears streaming down my face. my time was better spent trying to convince my mom i needed the newest jeans, listening to silverchair and “cruising” the kirkland strip with my friends. when i graduated (barely. damn you american history) i got a job at my moms company as a receptionist. they tried to make me take out my new tongue ring (ok, they suggested it, but any snarky 19 year old will take that as making) and i proceeded to answer phones for a year. this was my first real taste (besides my very first job at Target when i was 15, before Target was cool) of people and how rude they could be. and dumb. and anger-inducing.
from there i moved into sales. of brick. and stones and rocks and all those other things that can hurt you besides words. now i had rude people in front of my face. people who had weiners and thought i was a complete moron because i didn’t. i sold the crap out of man products (said brick and such, plus saws, sand, gravel and a bunch of other stuff that no one reading cares about) for 3 years while simultaneously hating life while equally ruling it. whilst i got pats on the back for being an awesome salesperson, i was secretly hoping someday i wouldn’t have to work for anyone. ok, not secretly. anyone who has ever seen my face and eyes in real life know my face can’t hide annoyance.
after that i got engaged, moved south and got married. then began my “just for fun” coffee job, which wasn’t really fun so much as it was reiterating my distaste for all things people related. because really? people are rude. people are gross and mean and stupid and rude. except of course, for the people i like.
next up was my last job, in real estate, which i enjoyed until the market tanked, making everyone a huge meanmonster and then getting pregnant which as i’m sure most of you know, only makes people MORE STUPID. my time being pregnant whilst being employed there is another post for another day, but i will say one man called me “fattie” when i was about 35 weeks along and one lady commented daily with things like “eating again?”.
moving on.
my point is? if you’re still reading? i don’t like working. i like many aspects of working, but the majority of my feelings are not of the warm and fuzzy variety. i’m not a fan of bosses, meetings, office coffee (it blows), waking up early, being on time for things, handshakes, being fakey nice and getting underpaid.
which is why my current gig blows all other jobs out of the water. all my dislikes about working are solved by the following:
- my boss? she’s wittle. and cute. and she can’t boss me around (yet). sure i have to change her diaper and cut up her food into tiny pieces, but it’d better than having to pretend i like her dress when in reality it’s hideous.
- no meetings. i mean, at the changing table i suppose, but at least those include real poop, not the verbal kind.
- real coffee. that i make. that doesn’t suck.
- waking up early? well there is that. but even a crying baby is less annoying than an alarm clock. and a cooing or babbling baby is like a million times better. alarm clock noises should all go die somewhere.
- being on time for things isn’t an issue. only to see the pedi like every 2 months. in which case i’m always early and then kick myself because they make me wait and then H is grouchy and screamy and omg, can’t they just be on time for once?!
- ok, so i don’t get paid. not in money. in kisses, hugs, and seeing my daughter learn and grow and all that amazing stuff. it took me a loooong time to get used to not winning any bread around here, but i’ve come to realize how important my job really is, and now have no problem shopping with my husbands money. (i keed, i keed).
don’t get me wrong, i WISH i had that thing that i loved doing so much that i had gone to school to become it. really, i do. it’s not that i don’t like anything, it’s just that i’m not good at anything. and the things i am good at, like drinking wine and shopping, aren’t majors at any college i know of.
post summary: i sucked at school and jobs. i love being a mom. there is poo involved however.
Posted on | February 17, 2010 | 10 Comments
ery rarely am i coherent in the first hour of my day. i need a few things to get going – coffee (like, lots of it) and Harper snuggles. the second one is tricky because i want to snuggle her right away, but her giant pee filled diaper prevents me from doing anything prior to changing it. so. after i change her, cuddle her face off, get her going with some “go-key” (which is food, i have no idea why, but it is), and insert my coffee IV, i check my email.
most days it’s old navy sales, shutterfly deals and a blog comment or two. but this morning? this morning i received this:
Mandy,
Hello! My name is Megan and I am an avid reader of your blog. I started reading when Harper was just a little nugget (as you say!) and have enjoyed so much following you and seeing her grow. I’m sure you get many emails from readers, but I felt it was important to tell you how much your blog means to me.
In October of ’09 I had a miscarriage with our first baby. At first after it happened, I took a break from reading blogs because it was too hard. Too much baby talk, too much mom stuff, too many reminders of what I no longer had. I came back to yours first because even though it was about being a mom, you also made me laugh, and I needed that. Losing my baby was the most emotionally painful thing I’ve ever endured, but for some reason coming to your site comforted me. Both my husband and I have dark features like you and Scot (sorry if I totally sound like a creep, not meaning to!), so seeing photos of Harper just really make me smile. She reminds me of how I pictured our baby. I hope you understand what I mean. It also reminds me that when I do become a mom, there are daily struggles and blessings and you need to keep a positive outlook. And wear a bra. : )
What I’m trying to say, is THANK YOU! Thank you for sharing your life with complete strangers and I, along with many others I’m sure, appreciate your honesty and humor. I hope I haven’t freaked you out too much! Keep up the good work.
Best Wishes,
Megan
seriously? amazing. like, beyond. to say this made my morning would be the understatement of the century.
i will admit i have some days where i want to throw in the towel. don’t freak out, i’m not going to, but i think it’s normal for any blogger to have times where you wonder “why am i doing this? does anyone care?”. i think it can be taxing at times to put yourself – your opinions, feelings, thoughts, super embarrassing stories – totally out there, be raw and basically open for anyone who knows how to properly use the interweb to see. most days (and i do mean pretty much everyday), i love blogging and everything it brings, but i’d be lying if i said i didn’t have the moments where i don’t.
this email is the reason i will never stop. well, i mean, yes, someday i will have to. i will get too old, too boring, or too covered in kids and kid related substances/fluids to blog. but for now, and as long as at least one person feels like Megan, i will keep doing this. this email was my second favorite thing that happened today (i feel like if i said it was better than Harper cuddles, that would make me a jerk, even though i get those daily and i only get emails like this once in a blue moon. i digress). it also kinda makes me want to email my favorite bloggers who help me through my days so they know how much they are appreciated. i urge you guys to do the same. Megan, thank you for putting yourself out there and a) emailing me and b) allowing me to put this on my blog. you? are going to make an amazing mama.
bottom line:
- megan is awesome.
- i love reader emails.
- tell your blog heros what they mean to you. like, now.
- and Harper pees a lot when she sleeps.
Posted on | February 15, 2010 | 18 Comments
i always hated valentines day growing up. i mean, i liked the candy (duh), and i liked picking out valentines but for the most part, it wasn’t my most favoritest. in 5th grade, when you had to give “everyone or no one” a valentine, i chose to give everyone one, including my mortal enemy. why was she my mortal enemy? because her name was also amanda, she had long curly hair that i wanted, and she had a pot belly pig, and a purple bedroom. so while i signed all of the cards with sentiments like “you’re nice” or “i like being in class with you”, hers was signed with a very simple “i hate you. love, amanda”.
i’m not even close to kidding.
cue a crying amanda (um, not me), a tattle, and a firm talking to on the portable ramp by my teacher. i guess i didn’t like being forced to give people i didn’t like (or apparently, hated) cute cards. as jr. high and highschool came along, i never had boyfriends on valentines (i’m guessing it was because i was so hateful?), and watching girls carry around roses and teddy bears and other miscellaneous things teenage boys had to have their moms pay for always made me green with envy. many a february 14th was spent with any friends that were in the same boat bashing males and getting a sugar high (oh to be young again).
scot and i got engaged 2 weeks before valentines day in 2006 and it was our first. come v-day i was so sick i had to stay home from work. as i stuffed tissue up my raw nose, i cursed the fact that yet another v-day, the first one with my future husband, was going to be ruined. we had to cancel reservations at my favorite italian place. then he came home weilding a dozen pink roses, candy and nyquil. ::cue swooning:: also in his bag of tricks were all the ingredients to make my favorite dish from said restaurant. ::swoon off your chair:: needless to say, my valentines hatred flew out the window.
fast forward to v-day 2008. i got up for work and woke scot up. “i’m gonna go pee on this”, i told him, holding the pregnancy test up. so i did. i set it on the counter and came back into our room, where he was sitting anxiously on the corner of the bed. “it’s gonna take like 3 minutes” i told him. i sat. we waited. we went into the bathroom. i saw one line from across the room and my heart sank. he saw two. then i saw two. then i yelled. we hugged, kissed and i shook like crazy and yelled. a lot. over and over. like a crazy (as if you’re surprised).
that night before he took me out for dinner, he played me a song he wrote for me for v-day. that morning he wrote a last minute verse after i took the test. i sat on the couch and cried like a pregnant lady while he played his guitar and sang me my song.
oh mandy you make me laugh, that’s why you and I will last
oh mandy you make me smile, that’s why you and I will last
all the troubles we have passed, we will last
all the rocks thrown in our path, we will last
you don’t ever have to doubt, that we will last
because you know I love you so, that’s why we’re gonna last
oh mandy you show me love, that’s why you and I will last
oh mandy you make me cry, that’s why you and I will last
all the troubles we have passed, we will last
all the rocks thrown in our path, we will last
you don’t ever have to doubt, that we will last
because you know I love you so, that’s why we’re gonna last
you’re my everything, you’re my queen
everything I do, I do for you
pretty soon there will be three, you and me
and then with our baby, we’ll be a nice family
oh mandy you give me joy, that’s why you and I will last
you make me a happy boy, that’s why you and I will last
he may kill me for putting this on my blog. he may not. all i know is i pink puffy heart valentines day now and forever because of this guy. because of our little family and what the day means to us. because v-day will forever be the day i found out we were cooking (by way of my ute) this little human:
Posted on | February 9, 2010 | 11 Comments
y very sweet and very preganese friend Emily gave me a bloggy award! being the type who likes to win anything, even 2 dollars on a scratch ticket, this is pretty awesome. if you’ve been around here for a while, you know Emily (mama to Hudson and soon to be mama of twins (!!!), Sawyer and Truman). if not, um, go check her out! soon you’ll be awaiting the arrival of those little babes like i am! thanks Em!
my duties for winning this award are as follows:
1. thank the person who nominated me for this award – check
2. copy the award & place it on my blog – check
3. link to the person who nominated me for this award – check
4. share 7 interesting things about myself – ooh boy, ok.
5. nominate 7 other beautiful bloggers – that i can do!
confession: i’m not all that interesting. no seriously. but i will try to regale you with some odd/weird/most likely boring information about myself that you don’t yet know (like what, right? i share pretty much everything here whether or not you want to know…).
1] i have been to disneyland over 30 times in my life. i’ve never lived in california. this means i am awesome. my first trip i was not even 2 years old. i cannot WAIT to take Harper someday.
2] i am terrified of clowns and moths. when i was 2, my mom dressed me up like a clown, but forgot to let me see what she was doing as she put my makeup on. after she was done, she showed me my face in the mirror and i FREAKED MY FREAK. i’m not scared of them because of things like modern clown movies and stuff – i am old school at being afraid of clowns. and moths? repulsive. i don’t care if they “aren’t scary” and “can’t hurt me” and all the other things my husband says. they should all GO DIE somewhere. [put a moth in my immediate area to see jumping, squealing and hiding beneath furniture. and then delete me from your phone/fb/twitter/life because I HATE YOU.]
3] i had shingles once. you know, that thing that only old people get? yeah, i had that. when i was 19. cause i’m just that special. it was awful, i recommend it to no one. it not only gives you owie, chickenpox-like stuff on your skin, but it attacks your nerves and can do permanent damage. which it did to me. boo on old people diseases.
4] i used to sell brick. and stone. and pavers and retaining walls. you know what? i was really good at it (toot toot! that’s mah horn!). it was hard at first, being a girl and all, and trying to convince dudes that i knew what i was talking about. but once i did, look out. if you ever need to know how to calculate how much sand you need to lay a patio, holler at your girl.
5] i mix up the words “scent” and “flavor”, and “itch” and “scratch”. i’m not stupid or anything, i just enjoy using them intermittently. examples include : “can you itch my foot? it scratches” and “what flavor is this candle?”. Scot thinks it’s hilarious. it *might* be annoying. file it under “mandy doesn’t care”.
6] i always wanted kids, but as an adult wasn’t good with them. i got weird when they’d talk to me, sort of like kenny from smonkyou, and would say “i like your shirt/hat/lollipop/pigtails”. after that? i was lost. it’s funny now that i’m a mom, that i used to be like that.
7] i like coloring. with crayons, in coloring books. i foresee an issue when Harper starts with art supplies. as in, mommy will have her coloring books and H will have hers. wow. i’m glad this is number 7 and i have to stop now. i’m sounding more bananas with each number.
now for the good part! new blog finds for you to go and fully stalk.
1] germama – gorgeous baby girl named Rory (love). Brittany is witty, sarcastic and plain awesome.
2] lady lucca – you will go all kinds of cannibalistic on this baby. good thing you can’t actually eat babies through a computer screen, or Lucca would have been a gonner some time ago.
3] lindsey ivory – love her. she’s expecting her first baby and i so enjoy reading her adventures. brings back memories and she has great style. win.
4] the 818 – this one time, i read her blog and followed her on twitter and generally stalked her hoping she’d be my friend. no seriously. i love her. then one day she started following me on twitter and stuff. i don’t think she knows how in love with her i am. but um, she does now.
5] mrs. priss – seriously? i die. anyone who’s twitter name is as brilliant as “Ohmorgosh” when their name is Morgan is my hero. check out her etsy store – amazing. and her posts always have me rolling.
6] molina baby steps – this? is my IRL friend from highschool. read: we did unmentionable things and caused a ridic amount of trouble. oh the STORIES. but now we’re all kinds of responsible and junk. i love roxanne SO much and her baby Sienna is gorgeous. i just wish we lived closer. sad face.
7] o my family – do not look directly at O Baby. you will regret it. i ell oh vee ee LOVE allison. rumor has it she will be out my way this summer and that we’re going to meet up. i mean, if my head doesn’t explode from the sheer idea of it all first.
so there you have it. seven things that make me a complete weirdo, as if you didn’t think so before, and seven superdooperawesome new blogs for you to peruse.
totally unrelated, i’d like to thank everyone who has donated to my BlogHer fund. i’ve teared up more than once in the last 24 hours over your generosity. it means more than i can say. you guys are the best – seriously.
my friend aliya has agreed to make the shirt that will include every one’s name who donates. RADICAL! (yes, it’s 1992). to see your name strewn across my lady parts, donate here:
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