blog for you.

Posted on | September 9, 2010 | 45 Comments

i did this guest post last week for melissa over at hi, baby. i thought i’d share it with you guys, too! hope it helps some of you, makes some of you want to blog, find your voice and record your life in blogging. enjoy!

i get tons of emails each week asking me how i got my blog to the place it is. i love getting reader emails and try to answer each one, but there are times when there are negative undertones about the writers blog and how “little” it is, how it isn’t “as good as ______’s blog” and so on and so forth. i see it all over twitter, facebook, and pretty much everywhere i turn on the good old internet. i’m sick of it guys! every blog, no matter what the content, design, or topic, is important to someone. it’s important to embrace your writing and your space in order to make it in to whatever you’d like it to be.

when i started my blog, i knew nothing. i didn’t know about themes, widgets, monetizing or buttons. it was strictly for family and friends to keep up on Harper (i barely knew how to post a photo!). somewhere along the way, people started finding it, other blogs linked up to it, and over a year and half later, i can say happily that blogging has become a huge part of my life. the friends and community i have found through blogging is something i never expected, but has been the greatest surprise.

by no means am i any sort of expert, but i can share with you some things that have worked for me (and not worked!) as the Haps has grown. it should go without saying that not everything works for every blog, but i think these are some pretty universal tips.

blog for you. i can’t stress this enough. if you create a blog hoping to become the next Dooce, your blog will suffer. if you enjoy writing, start a blog. if you enjoy making cakes, or taking photographs or sewing, start a blog. document things you love, for you. mine started so i’d have a place to go back and fill in the blanks in Harper’s baby book. i still blog about Harper, her milestones, her funny quirks and all that – but have found my voice and love for writing and photography. once i realized it was my space to do as i pleased, i began putting a lot of different aspects of my life in my blog, and people loved it. most importantly, i love it. my blog is mine. make yours, yours. you will be so much happier in the long run, as opposed to if you start out with the hope of being “big” or making money.

“big” is relative. it’s easy to look at a blog and it’s number of comments, twitter followers or facebook fans and be intimidated. or even think that person is better than you. i’ve done it, it’s called blog envy and it’s real. but it’s important to remember that that person puts their pants on one leg at a time and their poop stinks, too. the bloggy world is big, and you will never stop coming across new blogs with tons of readers. whats important is building your community. i promise you, if you have loyal readers who accept and love you, and you engage with them, it will be much more rewarding that having a million comments. i promise.

read blogs. this may be a silly statement, but it’s true. you can’t just expect to blog and have people flock to it and just invest themselves. find blogs you enjoy reading and comment when you like something they’ve blogged. i can’t tell you how many real, true friends i have made strictly through finding a random blog i could relate to and saying hi. comments can make peoples day!

tweet tweet. i’ve only been tweeting for about a year. i’ll admit i didn’t want to do it and didn’t understand it at first. however, if you’re interested in really engaging with your readers, i highly recommend starting one. it only took me a short time to fall in love with twitter and i think it’s one of the greatest resources for finding to new readers (and new blogs to read). you can interact one on one with people as opposed to them just commenting on your posts. again, the friends i’ve made there is countless and it’s a great place to throw out a question and get answers from all sorts of people. as a mom, i’ve found it to be better than google!

trolls happen. i will probably never forget the first mean anonymous comment i got on my blog. i sat there staring at it with an open mouth and y’all? it stung. bad. but the fact of the matter is, there are people out there who have sick, sad issues and it’s nearly impossible to blog without the occasional troll. it could be jealously (in most cases i find this to be true) or maybe someone didn’t get enough hugs as a kid. who knows. what i do know is you cannot let it stop you. also, do not engage them. as mad as you are, as much as you want to defend yourself, hit the delete button. you can read my post telling trolls where to stick it here, to get inspired. they deserve no space in your space.

don’t hold back. this can be hard, especially because of the trolls. putting yourself out there is hard. hitting publish on a breastfeeding/formula post i did was one of my scariest blogging moments. however, that post had hundreds of comments from women who had a similar experience to mine and it became one of my favorite posts. it got people talking, sharing their experiences, and coming together. sometimes you have to put your fear aside for something you feel strongly about. of course if you don’t want to blog about that kind of stuff, then don’t. but if you do, stand behind it and be proud of your writing. you just may be really helping someone. the internet? it’s a powerful thing. as is your voice.

have fun! i mean, that’s why we’re here right? well i am. blogging for me is therapeutic, fun and something i really enjoy. the day it feels like work or i dread doing it is the day i will stop. play around with your blog, your theme, whatever makes you happy. make it your place. it is your little corner of the internet and you govern it. enjoy “meeting” new people and finding friends around the country (even the world!). don’t put pressure on yourself. it’s all what you make it!

happy blogging, friends. :]



Comments

  • http://stillme.org Swetlana

    If there would be "LIKE" option for this post – I would hit it right away! This blog posts is true from top to bottom!

    And I've definitely found myself in the position wherei wanted my blog to as big & popular and well visited as some of my friend's blogs. It takes some time to get to the point where you're okay with your blog the way it is and you start to really love every single little post you wrote.

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    teammandy Reply:

    yes! and i feel like if you are yourself and blog with the right intentions, people will come and you will find your "people". :)

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  • hilary

    A not Belittleing comment. I love your blog. It makes me happy to read and your family is beautiful. Thanks for sharing your life with us!

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    teammandy Reply:

    thanks so much Hilary!

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  • http://www.orangegirlbigworld.blogspot.com Nani

    This is why I love your blog. I completely agree with this post 110% being true to ourselves in the blogging world is the most important thing!

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  • http://www.babymoohoo.blogspot.com Hilary

    thank-you for this encouraging post that is a great reminder to me that my blog is my own. i think sometimes it's easy to get caught up in, "but my mom is going to read this, " or, "what will be the funniest/smartest/catchiest" way to approach a post… when, really, you're right–it's most important that I like what i've written, that it has been true, honest, reflective of me, and the rest will fall into place as it should.

    as always, i just love reading your blog & value your insight so much!

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    teammandy Reply:

    absolutely. i found myself having a hard time blogging once i knew people were reading! but if i just keep being myself and posting what i want when i want to, the people who like reading it will stick around. :)

    thanks!

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  • http://exploitsofamilitarymama.com Mrs.TrophyWife

    True words, my dear. It's incredibly easy to feel tiny in the blogging world. But tiny is okay, too! I truly believe if you blog for yourself, you will reap the rewards. It's like therapy!

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    teammandy Reply:

    blogging is SO like therapy. and a lot cheaper!
    xo!

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  • momnom

    Great post dear! Sometimes every blogger needs to read a post like this and reminder his/her self why it is that they began writing to begin with. xoxo

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  • mrs. pelton

    yes! thank you, mandy. i had emailed you not too long ago looking for answers such as these. this post says it all – and you're 100% right. i've been spending more time on my blog and blogging for me – and in return i get the love and support from family and friends encouraging me and also enjoying what i have to say. you've taught me so much already! i enjoy reading this blog daily! keep up the good work! that harper is too cute for words!

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    teammandy Reply:

    awesome! sorry i haven't gotten back to you, i'm admittedly behind on emails! i'm glad you enjoyed this :)
    xo! thanks for reading!

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  • newmomadventure

    You made my day. =)

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    teammandy Reply:

    xoxo!

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  • http://www.theoutdoorwife.com Nish

    You are lovely. Thanks for this, Mandy.

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    teammandy Reply:

    hugs Nish!

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  • http://itsmylifeandmyjourney.blogspot.com Mrs. O

    Thank you! This was so great to read! I think for me right now it's really finding my voice. I enjoy blogging a lot, but need to find my voice and not just find things to write about to get comments. I have a couple of people I've "met" that are becoming great friends and it has helped me realize what I really want is meaningful relationships with blog/twitter buddies, not just comments for the sake of comments. I want people who really need to hear what I have to say get engaged.

    Thanks so much!

    Mrs. O

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  • http://themomdiggity.com kk @ the mom diggity

    great tips, it's always nice to be reminded why we do what we do…and to just be ME :)

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  • http://harpershappenings.com teammandy

    awesome. this makes me happy!

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  • http://www.parentinginprogress.com Mae

    I love you. That is all I wanted to say. Oh and that you're the one who got me to blog again in the first place, which has completely changed my life in the last year. And that Tom Selleck is hot and I will fight you for those mustachioed babies. And that I love you. Again.

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  • http://andbabysproutmakesthree.blogspot.com/ Rici

    I love this post. I can really appreciate where you're coming from. I'm a small-follower blog and I had started getting swallowed up in the madness that is "mommy blogging". I forgot that the whole point of my blog was to capture Teagan's life and share it when the people I love. The extra readers are just icing on the cake.

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    teammandy Reply:

    great attitude Rici. perfection!

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  • http://thescohis.blogspot.com Megyn

    Good post…but a quick q: how do you get the commenting to lead to any sort of relationship? I've been reading and subsequently commenting on several blogs in hopes to make some sort of real relationship-but it seems to always stay one-sided. Any suggestions on how to actually "meet" people? I swear, it's like dating all over again lol!

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    teammandy Reply:

    i totally feel you on the dating front. i suppose as with any relationship, it takes time. and the crappy fact is, there are times where no matter how many times you comment on a blog, that writer may never come visit yours (i've had it happen). what really got me connected to most bloggers was twitter, because it isnt' one sided. you can interact and talk about all kinds of stuff. i guess the biggest thing would be to not get offended if someone doesn't respond or comment on your blog. just keep truckin'!

    xo!

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  • http://stephsnaptimenotes.blogspot.com/ Steph

    Thanks for that insanely inspiring post! :) Your blog is one of my favorites and it's the first I look to with my morning cup of coffee and sometimes my night time glass of wine. I know that I will always smile after reading your posts! :)

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    teammandy Reply:

    that is SO sweet of you! thank you steph!

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  • http://hothotjj.blogspot.com/ Jessica

    Okay Mandy, I think you finally convinced me to get a Twitter account. I've held off so long, but it sounds like it is an amazing way to make online friends.

    I have a theory to why your blog really took off: you are darn adorable. Harper is too cute for words and you are hysterical! I loved your "bug trying to kill me" post and you spayed with Pam. I still laugh about that.

    Jessica

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    teammandy Reply:

    you are too sweet!

    and YAY for twitter! it def takes time to get the hang of it, but i think the time spent is well worth it! let me know if you have any questions – i know i had a ton!

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  • Jessica

    Awesome post! Thank you!
    I struggle with myself almost everday if I should open a new (public) blog again. Maybe I should just give it a try. But I already started the twitter thing. We'll see how that goes……and maybe I should work on my english….hahaha…..especially with moving to the states this year! Aaahh!

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  • http://lovelyladykatie.tumblr.com Katie

    Love love love this! Totally inspiring me to work more on my blog and work on it for myself. Thanks Mandy!

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  • Pingback: blog for you. | Pampers Baby Dry

  • http://www.thebabyblackbird.com Brandy

    Really great, honest and helpful. I worry all the time that I say too much, or don't say enough. NIce to read this, makes me feel a little better. For today at least, I'm sure tomorrow I will worry again! :)

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  • http://bringingupbaby.tumblr.com Jess

    I started my first tumblr a couple years ago and I went there to spew whatever random thoughts popped into my head throughout the work day. Then I started trying to get pregnant and blogged about that on a different tumblr and a few months later, found myself in the land of "mommy blogging".

    Until I started blogging about becoming a mom, I gave very little thought to my readership. I had a couple hundred followers on my first tumblr and never worked to promote myself outside of the tumblr medium. But once I started "mommy blogging" it's like all this pressure suddenly hit me. How could I compete with what was already out there? Why would people want to read MY blog when there were already so many amazing moms around?

    Blogging under that kind of pressure meant that I was putting out worthless crap that wasn't representative of who I was. So at that point, I had to make the decision to be unapolgetically me. And if no one read it? Well fine. At least I'd have a makeshift baby book for The Macster. But once I started being truly myself, that's when people really started to tune in.

    It's a lesson I think all of us bloggers need to learn. Be yourself, and people will be interested. And if what I says matters to 1 person or 1,000 people, at least what I have to say matters.

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  • http://prettyswellblog.com suzanne

    LOVE this post. I feel refreshed just for having read it. Thank you!

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  • bobbi

    Great post!!

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  • http://doubletwinstrollers.com/baby-trend-double-sit-n-stand-stroller-review/ StrollerMomma

    I've been quietly observing your blog for some time now, and I am going outside of my comfort zone by commenting at all. I'm one of those people who tends to stay invisible when possible, but I liked this conversation so much I had to speak up.

    Everything you said about blogging should really serve as life lessons for all of us. We need to care less about comparing our blogs, our kids, our house and our incomes to other people's lives. Blogging, like life, was meant to be a fun, meaningful experience.

    I write a lot of stuff online at my own blogs and on other outlets. If I am not embracing the writing, first and foremost for myself, as a means of expression, passion and enjoyment then the assignments never get done.

    I see a similar trend in life when we get so caught up in what others are or have, or say about us, we lose our passion. Blog, and live, for yourself and the people you love. Don't try to be someone you're not (trust me I'm speaking to myself here more than anyone else).

    I won't rant too much, and I'll slink back into my invisible cloak, but I did have to pipe up today as this conversation resonated with me and I really appreciate the advice.

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  • http://thehillmanfam.blogspot.com Jenn

    Great Post. I started my blog at first to keep family updated on my born, Finley. No one really followed but my mom and a couple friends…not even the family I started it for. Then one day I decided, I love writing and always have loved writing. So I thought, a mommy blog for me- for me to express myself my thoughts, write about my 2 babies, and use it as an outlet to release some stress from being a busy sahm of 2. My blog has begun to grow, a little and I'm proud. I'm proud that something I love to do, is entertaining some, relating to some and maybe even giving advice to some. As I do to a lot of other mommy bloggers!
    Ps. We live in the Pacific NW too! :)

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    Jenn Reply:

    oops thats supposed to say my first born!

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  • http://www.foodartbaby.blogspot.com Fab

    Thank you! I am new to blogging and this was a great read with great advice!

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  • Rachel

    Thanks for posting this! Great tips and tricks of the trade. Keep it up! :)

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  • femmenamala

    This is really inspirational for a new blogger! Thank you for posting it :)

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  • http://mysweetharper.blogspot.com/ Tracy @ Sweet Harper

    Yes, yes, and yes! Great reminders…I started out as just an extension of "Sweet Harper" as a shop, but have found myself loving blogging and connecting with readers a ton!

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  • http://treasurefree.wordpress.com/ David

    We have just started blogging

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  • http://sunshinesundays.blogspot.com/ Liz

    Just found your blog and this post was so perfect! I am starting a blog with much trepidation and really thought all this advice was stellar. The funny thing was I have read Ohdeedoh for a few years and always loved your Harpers room on there. I did not realize you had such a cute blog too. Thanks for (ALL) the inspiration.

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  • k.moreno27

    i needed to read something like this.
    I have had a blog for quite some time now but I didn’t know what to do with it.
    Thank you :)

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