Don’t poop out of your mouth, and other incredibly awesome advice. (BlogHer 12)

Posted on | August 10, 2012 | 32 Comments

I know. You’re probably just about at the end of your blog reading rope with this BlogHer re-cap nonsense. And I get it. I get it so much. But I did go, and it was interesting and fun and so freaking weird, and so I must post about it. Even though I have no idea where to start or how to finish.

This was my 3rd year attending and it was back in New York at the same place it was the first year I went. I still can’t figure out if 2010 was so flipping awesome because it was my first year or if I just happened to go the year that this conference ruled the most. All I know is I left San Diego last year confused and hopeful that 2012 back in NYC would be glorious. And it was. But not in the same way.

By the end of BlogHer this year I knew one thing (which is a lot considering all the things my brain had been accosted with over 48 hours including much vodka and people trying to throw toothpaste and vagina fans at me). For me, BlogHer no longer has anything to do with blogging. Yes, the reason I go is because I have a blog. But honestly this year confirmed for me that the only reason I seem to sign up for this thing is to see my friends. My money could be just as well spent picking a place anywhere in the country blindfolded and going there as long as these people would all go, too. The parties, the “swag” (I used quotes because you could buy any of this stuff at Target so for the love of Josh Duahmel CALM THE SHIT DOWN ABOUT IT SCARY PEOPLE), none of it matters. In fact, all it does it take time away from hanging out with the people I’ve paid to cross the country and see. Even looking at posts about BlogHer, I see photos of them doing other things and I’m thinking, wait we were in the same city and you were over there and I was over here and we weren’t taking advantage of every second?! Dumb.

Did I have fun? Oh my god, it was a blast. I held babies, I laughed until pee almost came out, I cried (dude, I cried a lot. What the?), I found myself in awe of the women I surround myself with. Someone entrusted an entire panel to me and a couple of my close friends and it was so scary but we did it. I only said “bitch” once and though I don’t remember saying it, was quoted on Twitter as saying “Just don’t poop out of your mouth” regarding blogging frequency. Obviously I’m accepting spots on other blogging panels as we speak.

I know the past two years I’ve ended my BH posts with a plea for everyone to just go. And like, I’m still pretty much saying that. But at the same time, I’m not. I think BlogHer is an amazing conference put on by women who care about other women and obviously work hard to make it happen. I also think it’s gotten too big and this year it was painfully apparent (my first year it was around 2000 attendees, this year there were 5400 in the same venue. You can imagine what I mean here). Will I go again next year? I honestly have no idea. Will I set up airline alerts for cheap flights to other various places and then beg about 30 people to come there with me throughout the next year? Absolutely. Because all I really need is them, a few hotel rooms, mugs and my add-a-cat app.

photos (besides Instagram ones) by my awesome friend Jill.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future posts delivered to your feed reader.
Category: blogging, BLOGHER, friends, sillyness, wine

Comments

  • http://www.lifescandy.com/ Mae (Life’s Candy)

    I’ll go wherever. Whenever.

    [Reply]

    Miranda Reply:
    August 11th, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    And now I’m singing Shakira.

    [Reply]

  • http://twitter.com/TieALitleRibbon Krystal

    YOU SOLVED IT. I came to BlogHer this year for you guys, my awesome friends. Not necessarily for the conference anymore. Let’s just round our families up next year and rent out a resort in Mexico?

    [Reply]

    Babe_Chilla Reply:
    August 10th, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    I’m inviting myself along. Let’s DO THIS!

    [Reply]

  • http://www.pecklife.com/ Emily @ PeckLife.com

    So perfectly said! This was my first…..{and not sure last?!} BlogHer. It was a good experience and I needed to get it out of my system but I think i’d do better is something much smaller that focuses on the love of blogging and LEARNING more than this one did….my swag is all sitting in a giant pile on the floor and I’ve hardly touched it…so obviously, I needed all of it. :]

    [Reply]

    Mandy Reply:
    August 10th, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Smaller, yes. That is what I’m leaning towards as well. This was just WAY too big. It’s lost a lot of what it had even 2 years ago. Sad but true. I hope you had fun though! I wish we had more time together, but at least we can hang out whenever we want :)

    [Reply]

  • http://www.acutedesigns.org/ Gina

    I have been reading a lot of these blogher recaps and it seems that people weren’t that impressed with the conference but loved seeing their friends. So….I am in doubt if I should ever go. I feel like people have their group and it might be cliquey for people who don’t have a “group.” Maybe not, but that’s the vibe I am getting.

    And I don’t mean cliquey in a bitchy way, I just mean that people have their group of friends that they love and that is who they want to spend their weekend with, which makes total sense. Unlike this comment, sorry….umm, great post! :)

    [Reply]

    Mandy Reply:
    August 10th, 2012 at 11:26 am

    I get what you mean. The sessions are okay but the brand/sponsored aspect of it is where I get annoyed. Hence just wanting to spend time with people I like. But I still want to meet MORE people and the hugeness makes it nearly impossible. I’m beginning to just think maybe a smaller conference is for me.

    [Reply]

    Gina Reply:
    August 10th, 2012 at 11:37 am

    yeah, a smaller one would be nice. I am a bit socially awkward, so I think a smaller conference would be better suited to my personality.

    [Reply]

    fearlessformulafeeder Reply:
    August 10th, 2012 at 11:40 am

    I think a lot of us are socially awkward. Comes with the territory… many bloggers find community and voice online b/c they have trouble finding it in person. ;)

    fearlessformulafeeder Reply:
    August 10th, 2012 at 11:29 am

    To be completely honest, it IS cliquey. Or maybe a better term is “tribe-y”. The first year I went, I had my “tribe” with me and it was a blast. This year, not so much. But you know, I was also there for work (my company sent me) and that was a totally different experience. I felt like I was there as an outsider/observer and that was sort of nice. There are definitely enough of us there who don’t belong to the cliques and we tend to stick to the sessions and skip the parties – it’s a very different experience, but worthwhile all the same. I still think it’s a powerful experience to be surrounded by thousands of people doing the same sort of work you are… (but I will admit, my inner 7th-grader did feel really left out of the fun all the “cool kids” were having…)

    [Reply]

    Mandy Reply:
    August 10th, 2012 at 11:36 am

    My replies are ending up all out of order :( Anyhow, tribe-y, yes I agree. I think there are many kinds of them though, I know I kept wanting to meet new people and pull them in but all the madness makes it so hard! It’s just too big. I’d love to find a similar kind of conference where there is more down time and no one feels left out for ANY reason. And I agree, it’s so amazing to not have to explain what you do to anyone, we’re all there for the same reason.

    [Reply]

    Gina Reply:
    August 10th, 2012 at 11:38 am

    I love hanging out with bloggers. everyone just GETS it :) .

  • http://twitter.com/FeministBreeder TheFeministBreeder

    I go for the slumber party too. If there was a blogger slumber party with only the 30 people I like (and really, I do only like about 30 people) then I’d just go there instead. The Bloggess wrote about a wine tasting retreat she went on with 20 bloggers a few years ago. I want to do THAT. And that only. Having said that, I’ll probably go to BlogHer next year because it’s in Chicago, and then I’ll have a nervous breakdown because they chose to hold the conference at a massively unmanageable place that is halfway across the city from the hotel, which will is already causing me nightmares. Now that I think of it, maybe I could just get a hotel room and throw parties for all my friends that come in and skip the insanity of McCormick Place. Food for thought.

    [Reply]

    Mandy Reply:
    August 10th, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Wow. Yeah, that sounds awful. And I agree about the wine thing – when I read that in her book I was like, um sign me up for THAT.

    [Reply]

  • http://twitter.com/Nanette Nanette

    I keep hearing those same feelings about this year’s BlogHer, and while I’m sad I wasn’t there this year, it makes me think twice (or more) about going next year.

    [Reply]

    Mandy Reply:
    August 10th, 2012 at 11:24 am

    The people are still there, so it was definitely worth it. But it was madness.

    [Reply]

  • kaciacoconut

    Holy. Blogher attendees. More than double than our first (my only) year? YIKES. Loved seeing pics + wish I could have swung it this year!!

    [Reply]

    Mandy Reply:
    August 10th, 2012 at 11:23 am

    Yeah it was nuts! Maybe we’ll see each other elsewhere in the next year? Hope so :)

    [Reply]

  • http://twitter.com/the818 Morgan (The818)

    Man, I can’t BELIEVE I didn’t mock Charlie for wearing a tie to the panel. I can’t believe I’m just noticing this. And also MEXICO.

    [Reply]

  • http://twitter.com/EatSleepTwit Munchkin & The Bean

    Oh man, if we did a massive family outing that would be epic! Husbands can bond over their wives’ weird hobby and the kiddlets can be adorable together!

    [Reply]

  • http://www.hibabyblog.com/ melissa rohr

    sounds a lot like my post :( people=totally worth it, the conference=wish i had saved mine and my sponsors money.

    [Reply]

  • sarahracine

    If there’s ever any conference where there’s just a panel by you and other hilarious people and swag made by us (even if it’s just brownies, I don’t discriminate) and maybe some kind of bloody Mary throw down that I’m sure you’d win…well, I’d totally go to that. I bet I’d learn a ton and my blog might actually become legit someday. PS, I really appreciate your honesty about this stuff.

    [Reply]

  • http://twitter.com/Tottums Tottums

    This was my first, and I liked it … but it was also overwhelming. The sessions I did go to {yours!} were for the most part great, but then there was all this other stuff that I was ‘supposed’ to do, and then the exhaustion …

    But yeah, sign me up for this bloggers retreat/wine tasting/sleepover thing. I’m kind of amazed no one has already thought of this …

    [Reply]

  • Babe_Chilla

    I was going to say (to you specifically PNW FTW) we should start something more like “FriendHer” or “vacation-with-less-assholes-but-all-the-fun-people-and-we-can-still-wear-glitter-and-not-poop-out-of-our-mouthsHer” because despite it being my first, it may be my last.

    My best times were with you guys in the bar, out to lunch, in the small hotel room parties, and at dinner with people I talk to ALL the damn time and never have met. I hated the private parties and truly loathed myself for ever caring or even going. Never again. Why didn’t you learn me the ways in advance Mandy? WHY?

    I enjoyed the sessions but I was too tired and overwhelmed for the most part. I loved the parts I loved but then some of it, I was beyond done with.

    Seriously, let’s start something else. And maybe we can even coerce the people to this side of the continent because why the shit not? Really?

    I hope the PNW Blogger Meet-Up happens again….and that I hear about it in advance because I think that would more be my style :)

    I still owe you a caesar!

    [Reply]

  • http://www.misselaineouslife.com Elaine A.

    I should have gone to your panel so that I could have actually SEEN you! Looks like you had a great time but yeah, it seemed quite overwhelming this year… And I go to see my friend too, so I completely get it. :)

    [Reply]

  • http://twitter.com/HelenaMarie Helena

    I love the heck out of this post!

    [Reply]

  • http://littlegraypixel.blogspot.com Vanessa

    I’ve never been to a blogging conference, but I’ve been to other “professional” conferences, and it’s always about spending time with friends and drinking wine in coffee mugs and SKIPPING the sessions and BS.

    We haven’t met for realz yet, but I can tell from this post that you’d be someone I’d get along with. So invite me to your cheap airfare escape, mmkay?

    [Reply]

  • http://asortafairytaleblog.com/ mandy @a sorta fairytale

    I love this post, Mandy!! Thank you for your honesty!! I was kinda pissy I couldn’t go this year (hi, 4 month old who needs me every 5 minutes)… and hello?? It was in NYC! BUT after reading about it, I’m kinda not as sad anymore. Only part I’m sad about is not seeing friends! So… you’re totally right – it’s all about who you’re with, not where you are! I think it’s a brilliant idea to set up a bloggy vacation with like 30 awesome bloggers. That’s all anyone really wants.

    [Reply]

  • http://twitter.com/notsuperjustmom Miranda

    I’ve been to BlogHer twice now and both times, I’ve come home with a sense of “What the hell am I even doing with my blog?” I think that’s not what we’re supposed to come home feeling. However, my soul has come home recharged from seeing my people. The people who just get it. And that’s worth more to me than what I can or can’t do with my blog.

    [Reply]

  • Pingback: Blogher Hangover is Real — The Martha Project

  • http://www.justshireen.com/ Just Shireen

    Yes. This. This was my first BlogHer, but not my first blogging conference. I left conflicted. But the highlight, by far was getting to have time with the people I love and meeting new fantastic folks (like you!).

    [Reply]