Posted on | August 20, 2013 | 104 Comments
Hey-o! I had a baby! And I’ve been so caught up with all that entails I haven’t even had a chance to come and tell you about it. But it happened! Oh shite, did it happen. It was wonderful, and terrible, and this has been one of the hardest and most amazing weeks of my life (yeah he’s a week old already I really am a blog slacker). The last time I felt this way was nearly 5 years ago when Harper was born. Childbirth (no matter HOW you do it) is freaking HARD and the weeks following it are brutal. Some days are harder than others. It’s crazier than Amanda Bynes is what I’m saying but here I am so let’s talk about it and look at my baby!
As I had complained about for what, weeks? I was in prodromal labor for a while, which meant I wanted to kill people. Contractions were fairly constant for weeks, sometimes coming 3-5 minutes apart but never getting worse or closer. It was exhausting and frustrating to say the least. It wasn’t so much that I wanted him here early as much as I wanted the labor to either shit or get off the pot you know? Either get going or stop torturing me night and day and let me sleep. Scot was already on leave and I was walking around 4 cm dilated. We walked, we hung out as a family of three night and day, and we tried to keep ourselves busy while we waited.
Sunday morning at 5am I felt a contraction. There was nothing special about it whatsoever except during it It felt like he was going to kick through my belly button. I stood up to go to pee and yeah, that was my water. Even though it was so clearly my water breaking, I was so convinced I’d be pregnant forever I still questioned it. Like, did I just pee myself BAD? I started shaking a little because I was so excited it finally happened: we were having a baby and we were having it that day. An end in sight! I walked around a bit and nothing drastic seemed to be happening so I woke up Scot and had him call the hospital. They were super excited that I had been at a 4 at my previous appointment and said to stay at home until things got intense. Scot went to Starbucks to get stuff for us and my mom and I finished packing our bag. Then I got on the birth ball. I ate a breakfast sandwich and made jokes with my mom, contractions were about 5 minutes apart. Slowly but surely they were getting hard to talk through.
Before I knew it I was making some dying animal noises through them. It was now about 7:00 and Scot was rubbing my lower back to help me through them. One hit and when it was over I was like, “NOPE. NOPE. We’re going NOW”. He woke up Harper so we could say goodbye. I was in a tremendous amount of pain but there was no way I was leaving without hugging my baby. We all headed outside to give hugs and I was basically trying not to show that it felt like I was being murdered from the inside out. I failed. Harper cried because she was so upset seeing me in pain. We reassured her she’d be meeting her brother by the end of the day but mommy had to be in pain a bit first. We ended on a happy note and got the hell out of there. By this point I was out of my gourd. The car was the worst possible place I can imagine to be.
The car ride consisted of me yelling “NO NO NO NO NO NO NOPEEEE NO” essentially the entire ride. They were so close together I couldn’t even rest and I was told Scot if we got there and I was a 5 or 6 or something, I was getting the epidural. NO WAY could I endure hours more of this. We pulled up to valet and they offered me a wheel chair. No. Sitting is no. By this time I can tell I am scaring people but can not find an eff to give. The lady registering us is calm and slow and as I am doubled over a chair I picture myself kicking her in the neck. Her “I’m a normal person alive and not in labor” voice is making me want to kill her. Eventually she walks us to the birth center while I make more dying cow noises. The nurses there see and hear me and make the very wise decision to skip triage and take me to a room – where I walk around yelling as they ask me to get my pants off and get on the bed so they can check me.
Somehow I do it (no idea how) and she announces I am at 9. Oh. Right. About all that TRANSITION IN THE CAR. It’s 7:55 and suddenly the room is swarming with people. Doctor on call, baby nurse, more nurses, shit is HAPPENING. They tell me I can push whenever I want, so I start. I can’t even talk about this part because literally? I felt like I was turning inside out. I don’t think I’ve ever hated anything more in my ENTIRE life than pushing. I could hear myself screaming and being a total lunatic but could do nothing to stop it. I watched many natural childbirth documentaries and remember this one lady just sitting there in a tub and she barely made a peep when the baby emerged. NOPE. NOPE DOT COM. I think I actually scream-cried the baby out as opposed to pushed. It was that insane.
Luckily it only lasted about 4 contractions and he was out. I was SO in shock that it had gone so fast and so in shock that he was here. We were just looking at eachother and kind of laughing and looking at him in disbelief and the nurses were cheering because oh my god they got all the stuff ready in time and we did it. He was born at 8:08, less than 20 minutes after I landed on the bed to be checked. Talk about your almost car baby. YIKES.
We got all the annoying “after” stuff out of the way, I took some Motrin and before I knew it we were on our way to the room we’d be staying in. High fiving nurses as we came out. I have to be totally honest here – I felt amazing. I had the natural birth I had wanted SO badly. Physically I felt one trillion times better than I thought imaginable after birth (with H I left that delivery room crying over 4 hours later because everything was so bad from the epidural). I had my baby boy in my arms, my husband was looking at me like I was super woman and my first born was going to be able to finally come meet her brother within a few hours of me leaving her. It was one of the happiest days of my entire life.
One of my dearest friends Fiona was going to come photograph the birth for us. Considering WE barely made it to the hospital in time there was obviously no way for her to get there. So she came once we got settled into our room and was there when H came. These photos are absolutely priceless to me and I tear up every single solitary time I look at them. I can honestly say I am so glad I don’t have photos of the birth. I was a scary faced scary screaming person and frankly out of my mind for 13 minutes. No need to commemorate that. This right here though? I’ll have these forever and I couldn’t be happier.
I had no plans of ever writing a birth story. But I just word vomited and I’m glad I did. It was an amazing day that deserves to be written down. And I share it here because I am proud of it, and so thankful for all of you who care about our family and have been so supportive over the years. I’ll be back soon, as these first couple postpartum weeks slowly get better (just because it was natural doesn’t mean my body escaped unscathed – it’s been a rough road this past week). Right now we are settling in to our new normal, and I couldn’t be happier.